Remember Happy Times

According to the Harvard Study on happiness, “multi-tasking is the enemy of savoring”.  My next challenge towards happiness was to “Savor the Pleasure”.  Placing my attention on pleasure and enjoying each experience in the moment as it occurs.  This happiness philosophy is the subject of Eckhart Tolle’s NYT bestselling book “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”.   It is no surprise that Oprah Winfrey recommended the tome with its promises of new consciousness and enlightenment.  I found out this week that I really suck at the Power of Now. 

Pilots are natural multi-taskers.  This is when I came to the realization that ADD does have benefits.  When flying you need to look out the windshield, monitor your instruments, physically fly the plane with feet on rudders and hands on throttle and yoke (in the old days) while talking to the tower on the radio.   For this reason, I see no distracting danger when I shift my car while I talk on the (wireless) phone.  I manage best with several balls in the air, and easily get bored focusing on one task at a time. 

I started on Monday morning with my sincere attempt to savor each task and  “recognize and enjoy pleasures in my day” as the Study recommended.   I bombed from the start by reading the newspaper, while drinking coffee with the morning news on in the background.  I could not stop myself from checking e-mails and sending a few texts.  Single-tasking was an impossible mission.  Things got better when I read my daily meditation without distractions and took the dog for a walk and purposely left my phone at home.  But I could not take a run without my I-pod music giving me encouragement.  The more I tried to limit my attention to one thing the more stressed out I became, not exactly my definition of “happiness”.  That evening I was able to focus on our hour-long yoga session, but not without my mind wandering a few times.  The value of inner stillness is no more evident than in the practice of yoga. 

The premise of living in the moment is to not to regret the past or fear the future, but to enjoy the present.  But savoring can also mean fondly remembering earlier happy events, like I did this week when I watched a few home videos.  And daydreaming about returning to Europe this summer with the girls gave me joyful anticipation about the future. 

While I failed miserably at the goal of single-tasking, I think I succeeded in appreciating every day’s special moments.

See the Beauty

In an attempt to find happiness, I challenged myself to nurture warm and fuzzy tendencies that I naturally lack.  Clueless where to begin,  I took one of the examples given  in the Harvard Study.   I thought the easiest one would be “Set a beautiful table for an ordinary meal – appreciation of beauty” for the virtue of Transcendence.  So I began by reminding myself by writing “See the Beauty” on my bathroom mirror. 

That morning I woke up early and as I lay down on the living room couch I listened to the birds singing outside the front door.  I thought how beautiful the sounds of a quiet morning are and realized I shouldn’t limit the appreciation of beauty to what I see.  I included all beautiful sights, smells and thoughts like the delicious smells of baking mango bread and a late blooming gardenia.  As I walked the dog, I consciously thought “see the beauty” and looked up to see the Biltmore Hotel Tower in the morning sun.  Walking down the halls of work, I noticed a beautiful bouquet of white roses in full bloom, and thought of the beauty of love.

I saw a beautiful upholstered chair but the story of the Uzbekistani mothers and daughters that embroidered the brightly colored fabric with micro-loans reminded me of the beauty of their spirit.

As the days passed I no longer had to remind myself to appreciate the beauty in my world.  Everywhere I turned the beauty was waiting to be appreciated - a rainbow over the city, a bright sunny day at the beach, playful monkeys, the cuddle of my husband.  With deliberate intention I savored in the moment and appreciated all the good.  The positive thoughts were cumulative and long lasting.  And at the end of the day, I was happier.  How simple. 

The elusive quest for true happiness

John F. Kennedy quoted the ancient philosophers when asked by the press corps if he found the job of President rewarding. He responded, “It is rewarding and I have given before to this group the definition of happiness of the Greeks, and I will define it again. It is full use of your powers along lines of excellence. I find, therefore, the Presidency provides some happiness.” In the VIA Institute on Character’s study, researchers narrowed down the virtues of happiness by searching for qualities that were prized across cultures and eras and believed to lead to fulfillment in life. The combed through philosophical and religious literature from early civilization to the present day. The six virtues of happiness described are wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence.

Each of the six virtues has underlying strengths, or various means of displaying a person’s natural tendencies. What Kennedy valued may have been Perspective - being able to provide wise counsel and possessing ways of looking at the world to make sense. This strength is a trait for the virtue of Wisdom.

Discovering what makes someone happier than the next person, is an elusive quest. An optimistic, grateful, religious person, who finds the beauty in everyday life, possesses the underlining strengths found in the virtue of Transcendence. Transcendent people connect with the larger world and provide meaning. My strengths of love of learning and curiosity lead to the virtue of Wisdom and bravery and honesty are traits of Courage.

True happiness comes from within. My sister Gina blogged: “my yoga teacher instructs us "We were born with everything we need to make us happy, everything we need to make us happy is still within us”.” http://gleesganders.blogspot.com/
Knowing your strengths and using them for good is the secret. Do what comes naturally and you will feel energetic, confident and…….happy.