Patience Young Grasshopper

Believe it  or not people who were paralyzed in accidents are as happy as those that have won the lottery.  Those paralyzed rate their pleasure in everyday activities just as high as people that have hit the PowerBall.  In part, because people adapt more quickly to positive changes, such as becoming accustomed to having more money after winning the lottery.  With a “That was so yesterday” attitude,  the sudden influx of happy emotions fade faster.   Versus a “Thank you for today” attitude of appreciating what you have one day to the next.

Fewer choices, result in higher satisfaction.  Limiting choices is a difficult task in today’s society where even the drive-thru clerk at Burger King is trained to satisfy your every whim.   One of the teachings in the Doctrine of Yoga is to strengthen your will-power through renunciation.  “You must practice self-denial in fifty different ways” .  Take a cold shower when you would prefer a hot one, greet those you would usually avoid, walk when you could drive. How far can I take this? Fiber instead of carbs... Water in the wine glass?

In the long run, this type of self-denial should bring a greater awareness and appreciation for all the wonderful things in our lives.   I took a Happiness test so I can rate if my level of happiness increases with this exercise.  I scored 8 out of 10, with 6.9 the average happy score.  So, currently (without self-denial) I'm pretty happy.  But, I will try the ancient teachings and be open to their lessons.

Regrets, I've had a few

During an outing to Costco with my great aunt, I thought about my weekly happiness challenge:  “Say no to too many choices”.   I needed dishwasher detergent and had many options ; liquid, powder, crystal, action pac, green, bio-degradable  – choices, choices, choices.  In the 4G, HD, digital world we have more choices than we could have ever imagined.  How did I choose the dishwasher detergent?  I found the cheapest powder per ounce, put it in the cart and moved on.  The theory is that happiness is thwarted because the more choices you have, the greater opportunity to regret those choices.    

 

This was not much of a challenge for me since I rarely spend time deliberating over my choices.  According to the Harvard Study, those who analyze all the pros and cons to painstakingly make sure they make the perfect selection, regret their hard-thought decisions more - shouda, coulda, woulda.  But there are  everyday choices (like dishwasher detergent) and life's choices (the spouse you choose).   This challenge was for choices we are faced with on a daily basis.  In a misguided attempt to make children happy many of today's parents tend to cater to and give multiple options for everyday decisions, such as "what's for breakfats?".  On finding happiness, we are doing these kids a huge disservice in the long run.  For me, there are usually two choices – take it or leave it.  

Jesus Camp



Sabbaticals eliminate choices.  No televisions, no phones or computers, camp-style meals taken at prescribed times, early prayers, evening meditations.  Few conversations and fewer choices allow your mind to stay focused.   This monastic type of lifestyle reminds you to appreciate what you have, especially the goodness and glory of God.  While we all can’t have the lifestyle of living in a convent, I decided that I would limit daily choices for the week – I took the same running route with the same playlist, breakfast was coffee and yogurt,  lunch would be tuna fish on pita bread.  Was I happier?  I realized this was not much of a change from my daily routine.  

We all make good choices and bad choices.  Hopefully we learn from the bad ones and don’t repeat our mistakes.  Although I tend to forget the bad ones after my second glass of wine.  Seriously, there is nothing more damaging to happiness than regret.  Regret is just insight that comes a day too late, and not worthy of any more emotional energy than learning from your experience.