Nothing to do with Happiness

My aunt, Lil (center) & clean-shaven uncle, Terry

I visited my favorite aunt and uncle a few years ago when I was homeschooling my son, Jack.  We flew to Tucson, and they quickly shared that they turned their talents to the Praise Band at their church.  I remember my aunt and uncle during their "Rock Band" era in the 70's.  They were the "Dearly Beloved", a name that brought new meaning for their gospel rock reincarnation.   When we visited,  the recent news was that  they recruited their old member "Mike" to play on Sundays.  Dearly Beloved was back together, playing for a greater cause. 

Me & our American Bull Dog, Niki

The part that has nothing to do with happiness, is that Mike died from injuries from his own dog.  Last week, after three weeks, he succumbed to the injuries.  His pet, Butch (a Pit Bull), was recovering from surgery and in pain and lashed out at his owner.  How devastating to family, friends, me.  

Thank the Lord that Mike was reunited to Dearly Beloved for the past few years.  For those Sundays, those souls, everyone.  There really seems to be no explanation.

Not so happy kel

It is hard to blog about “How to be happy”, when you haven’t been feeling particularly happy yourself.   Everyone goes through periods of gloominess.  You cant’ be happy all the time, and if someone acts gleeful 24/7 something must be wrong.  Remember, you can’t enjoy the happy times unless you have low periods in comparison.   According to the sacred texts of Hinduism, “We know the value of standing in the shade only after we have roamed in the hot day sun”.

Periods of unhappiness are normal and you can frequently recognize the reason why you are down in the dumps.  I am suffering from post-vacation let down, something my mom called “too much birthday”.  The last four weeks have been remarkable, with a girls trip to Europe, followed by multiple celebrations, a corporate retreat at Disney, productive meetings and very little down time.

How do you find a happy place when you are feeling blue?  According to the Harvard study on positive psychology, “There is also intriguing preliminary evidence that positive psychology techniques, in addition to preparing you for the ups and downs of life, can be valuable in times of stress, grief, or other difficulties.”

http://www.health.harvard.edu/special_health_reports/positive-psychology-harnessing-the-power-of-happiness-personal-strength-and-mindfulness  

The effective positive psychology techniques include expressing gratitude for the lessons learned or opportunities presented when dealing with negative events.  Participants are instructed to write about the positive consequences of their hardship for which they could be grateful.  Focusing on finding the silver lining of your black cloud, helps with closure and intrusive negative thoughts about your despair.   My fatigue has forced me to relax, re-energize and focus on things that need to be done around the house.  Another assignment is to savor the pleasure and think about the good things in your life.  When you accentuate the positive you develop a more optimistic outlook.   Instead of lamenting my exhaustion after a month of going non-stop, I have been enjoying the shared pictures of our trip and discussing the lessons learned at our Disney Corporate Retreat with co-workers.  Keeping busy or getting into “The Flow” with outside interests helps keep negative thoughts at bay.   When you’re fully engaged in activities, you are less preoccupied by mundane thoughts.  Nothing clears my head of dreary thoughts quicker than a long run with my I-Pod just thinking about the music and my feet hitting the pavement.

Unhappy times are really a chance to appreciate that when one door closes another one opens.

The Happiness Puzzle

Using your natural talents for good is the ultimate solution to the happiness puzzle.  But first, you must know where your strengths lie.
The Harvard Study on Positive Psychology discovered that deploying a innate strength is usually the easiest and most effective way to accomplish a goal. You can think of using your strengths as the smallest thing that you can do to make the biggest difference. Courage and Wisdom are my natural talents (or strengths) according to a survey in the Sielegman and Peterson study that identifies inborn talents.  Fortunately, since I took the "test" http://www.viacharacter.org/Surveys/SurveyCenter.aspx ), I know my strengths and virtues without guessing.


Accoriding to the study's example, "one person trying to influence a school board might have the strength to speak up forcefully and clearly  at a general meeting (despite the almost-universal fear of public speaking)".  This example is for the strength of Courage, and immediately related to me.  Jumping up in a public setting to speak my mind comes second nature to me.  In fact, I spent the last few months using this strength and  have been gleefully happy doing it. In our Nation's budget discussions, I have advocated for full funding of Medicare, and eagerly volunteered for any opportunity to speak against potential cuts.  In May, Floridean (the skilled nursing facility I operate) had a press conference with legislators and three local TV stations coveredthe event. Not only did I MC the event, I pushed my somewhat reluctant coworkers to speak their mind into the cameras and microphones. http://univision23.univision.com/videos/video/2011-06-21/ancianos-colectan-firmas-contra-recortes Then in July, I joined my Florida nursing facility colleages in Washington, DC and toghether we met with members of Congress to explain the negative results of Medicare cuts.  Happy, happy, joy, joy.

2008 Senate Testimony

What are your inborn talents?  The answer to happiness may lie in the answer.  Discover your strengths and use them for the good of others, and I promise you will smile, relax and find true happiness.