Read to your baby

When I was expecting my first child, Allison, I received priceless advice from Carol the social worker at work. At my baby shower she gave me a stack of children's books and a card that simply said "Read to your baby".  (this is now my gift for all new mothers)  I thank Carol for introducing me to Margaret Wise Brown, Good Night Moon, the Runaway Bunny, Blueberries for Sal and the vast world of children's literature.  I read to my baby, and child and pre-teen too.  Her gifts have become treasured memories that still grace our family room shelves, that I look forward to reading to my granddaughter.

At my niece AJ's baby shower yesterday I was responsible for the games, and included a "Children's Book Quote" game that seemed perfect for my niece and her mother (my sister) - the writer.  Gina and I both gave quotes from books on our shelves and I tested them on my daughter Allison (now also a mother to be).  She got most of them, the harder quotes I edited out of the quiz.

At the baby shower, my cousin Christina (who is a forth grade teacher and new mother ) was the landslide winner with 12 out of 15 quotes correct.  The other 30 or more shower guests didn't recognize most of the quotes. Why?

Do parent's not read to their babies?  Or do we read our children different books?  One mother said she only read books in Spanish.  Gina's husband, Zeke, quoted a "Pretty Purse" line that I am sure had sentimental meaning for him and his girls, but was hardly a children's best seller. (certainly not from Winnie the Pooh or Velveteen Rabbit)  Or maybe it was the blue baby boy cocktail?


Please take the quiz and report your results.  You cannot use your smart phone, google or ask a friend.
I wonder if this is an impossible game?  Or, do we need to read to our babies and grand babies?

My Last Halloween

I remember my last Trick or Treat fondly - it was a candy fest!  Bags and (garbage) bags of candy!  The last quest for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfingers, Snickers, KitKats. Mounds, Duds, Twix and Milky Ways.  Bags of M & M's, Skittles, Reese's Pieces, Raisenettes.  I was thirteen and in seventh grade, and knew this was the last time I could pull off saying "trick or treat" with a straight face. My older sister was in high school and off with the cheerleaders while my mom took my younger brother and sister as cowgirl and cowboy around the neighborhood.  My best friend Jamie (the boy down the street that I knew since preschool) and I plotted our course.   On our bikes we could cover our entire neighborhood, and the next subdivision for at least a total of 40 to 50 streets of affluent high quality Mars, Hershey and Nestle products.  I was a hippie he was a hobo.  We made our costumes from hand me downs from our older sisters and brothers.   The booty was so good that before the sun went down had to go home to empty our pillow cases because the load was too heavy.  It felt so liberating.  No parents waiting at the sidewalk or younger siblings and friends to follow along.  We were just two kids (a hippie and a hobo) going from house to house. Total freedom to legally get as much free candy as possible!

Waist Not Want Not

Hello Fresh Lemony Shrimp Linguine

When preparing meals everyone has different expectations other than the obvious of appealing taste and flavor.  My sister Gina prefers healthy options.  Blue Apron meals averaged about 600 calories per meal which is about 30 calories less than Hello Fresh.  Fresh only allows selection between Classic Food box and Veggie Box.  Apron allows the chef to select proteins that include beef, pork, poultry, fish and shellfish for more customization.  But Blue only gives total calorie counts for each meal while Fresh gives a complete nutritional break down including fat, sugar, sodium and carb values.  So for the healthy cook, I would recommend Blue Apron.

Blue Apron Squid Ink Linguine Pasta

My daughter is conscience of the impact on the planet versus the waistline.  In this category, Blue Apron takes pride in their environmental philosophies.  All packaging (and with ingredients individually wrapped there is a lot) is recyclable and the website gives instructions on how to dispose of the freezer packs, but I just save them for my lunch cooler.  Hello Fresh separates each of the three meals in individual boxes to make it easier to identify what ingredients to use for each recipe,  this is added waste that in my opinion is not beneficial for the environment.  Both Blue and Fresh boast of using local purveyors with Blue advising they "use farm-fresh ingredients from family-run businesses".   I like that Blue gives you information about these farmers and their crops, since I ran our family business and value supporting them.  Overall the entire concept of exact portions eliminates the problem of food waste that is a concern for many Americans, but Blue seems more in tune with the next generation's environmental cause.

Blue ApronVietnamese Chicken Wings

Hello Fresh Asian Shrimp & Pork Won Tons

As far as kitchen mess in preparation and clean up, Blue Apron overall had more complicated recipes with it's share of peeling, slicing and dicing.  When I mentioned the prep work required to my foodie sister, she said "That doesn't bother me, I enjoy the work if the result is worth it."  I have to say, as a somewhat novice cook, the results were worth it.  I was amazed at what I could serve, including homemade pork and shrimp won tons that my son and husband raved about.  In the KP duty Fresh was best with most recipes using less bowls, pots and pans.  They also had one pot meal recipes easy to identify and select, so in that regard Fresh wins.

Hello Fresh Chicken & Nectarine Panzanel

So in the final evaluation who is best, Blue or Fresh? 
If you are my sister and enjoy cooking and are health conscious I would recommend Blue Apron. For my environmentalist daughter, Blue Apron again and my kitchen cleaning husband- Hello Fresh.

Hello Fresh, however comes in a very close second, and I can say that both companies offered fresh food with tasty and unique recipes.  So after this experiment in this post-working life I have happily discovered that I enjoy cooking and serving my family new and interesting meals (but I still HATE grocery shopping).

Fresh against the Apron

I HATE grocery shopping.  In my working life, stressful shopping after work followed by cooking got crossed off my list many years ago. Unfortunately for my family I relied on a rotation of one dish meals and decent take out.  That is why the "Everything except the Chef"  concept of cooking seemed like a dream come true.  Hello Fresh and Blue Apron both offer Top Chef worthy meals without planning or shopping.

I like the idea of trying new recipes and different ingredients.  The magical boxes arrive at your door with perfect portions and exotic recipes.

First I tried Blue Apron.  My daughters and niece were visiting when the box arrived.  As we unpacked the box, my middle daughter Kate commented "That looks like a lot of packaging."  When my niece was helping me peel and chop the produce she quipped "it's a lot of prep work".

Everyone has different ideas about what they expect from meal delivery companies.  Does the company care about it's enviromental footprint and do they support local farmers?  Are the ingredients fresh and seasonal?  My sister asked about calorie counts and getting special diets and my husband said he would be the judge of KP duty, since if I cook he cleans.  So I decided to compare Fresh verses Apron and report the results.

Hello Fresh Recipe Booklet

Both companies have similarities.   They are web-based subscription type services where you can skip weekly orders and select recipes.  Both offer three meals for two people per week for about $60.00.  Hello Fresh does a better job in technology.  Blue Apron has their own merchandising and sell pots, pans and kitchen wares.  I found it pushy and annoying.   When it comes to choosing meals, Fresh and Apron both have a varied selection of entrees that are appealing and it is easy to choose three menus per week from the options.

Blue Apron Recipe Cards

Both had pictures and step-by-step instructions but the recipe styles were different.  Blue Apron has 8" X 11" recipe cards with six steps each meal, while Hello Fresh uses a booklet and the typical recipe format.  I found Hello Fresh was easier for me to follow as an "Intermediate Cook".  

Hello Fresh's Seared Steak

I loved Blue's exotic ingredients like dried currants and lobster demi-glaze and edgy cooking techniques of Roasting Pepitas and frying shallots, however my "Summer Corn & Vegetable Chowder" flopped and was inedible.  Hello Fresh was the winner overall in the category of "Recipe and Instructions were clear and easy to follow".  Hello Fresh also allows users to download and print recipes (even those you haven't bought) and save on their mobile application which is great for those recipes you would like to repeat with your own ingredients.

As far as the best taste and flavor, Hello Fresh won with most of the recipes tried we strongly agree that the meals were excellent.  This is a subjective vote, but I also asked my other tasters (spouse, children, sister, niece).  It was hard to choose my favorite, but the Seared Steak and Creamy Chipotle Pan Sauce was perfect.  The cooking directions and quality of the beef contributed to the fantastic flavor.  Also, the added ingredient of Chipotle Sauce which would have been hard to purchase or make.  Their Lemony Shrimp Linguine came in a close second with a fresh simple recipe and farm raised shrimp.

Blue Apron's Rice & Beef-Stuffed Pablano Peppers

My favorite from Blue Apron was the first I created -Rice and Beef-Stuffed Pabloano Peppers. I liked it so much, I made it from my own ingredients, but could not find the Poblano peppers, zante currants or pepitas at my local grocery store.  This would be a recipe I would definitely order from Blue Apron again, because of the exotic and fresh ingredients.

The acid test of the quality of each meal delivery service is "Would you order this meal again" Hello Fresh was the winner with four out of five recipes.  I would order only two out of the five recipes from Blue Apron.

Next, I will reveal the results regarding other important questions such as nutritional values, environmental friendliness and kitchen clean up!

I'm Bossy

 Gina & I  at Corporate Run

"You have to tell the story about you bossing John around at the Corporate Run," my sister said as her suggestion for my next blog.   She continued, "how you told him what to do, and he totally ignored you."  I remembered the Ft. Lauderdale Corporate Run, and how John didn't listen to me when I told him the exact route and specific parking lot location.   And how he regretted not bringing the specified roller-cooler .  But I didn't see it as "bossing him around",  I was just doing my job and being the boss.

I guess the frustrated boss in me forgot John was my husband, not my employee.   Now, I am no longer the boss of anyone, except myself.  Changing roles in life is rough on egos and relationships.  Especially when you have to take a step back (and down).

I imagine it is similar to the way the President of the United States must feel when he leaves office.  Leader of the free world one day, working on your museum the next.   I heard General Colin Powell describe how he felt the morning after he stepped down as Secretary of State.  He said that he stood in his kitchen with a cup of coffee as the Secret Service came and ripped out all the phone and cable lines and then speed off in the black, bulletproof SUV never to return again.  His wife quipped, "What do we do now?".

I hate that uneasy feeling when you realize you are dispensable, but you can't take it personally.  "Nobody is indispensable" my dad advised, "and that includes you."  People who hang on too long, need to accept when it is time to move to the next phase.

For John and I it seems we have lost many of our roles.  As almost empty nesters, we have (almost) let go of our "parent roles".   Since John and I both quit our jobs we also (simultaneously) lost our "career roles".   In this encore period of our lives I am still trying to figure out "What we do now".

F**k "Type A"

I took the tests in Cosmo and Working Woman - "16 Signs You Might Be Type A".  My score always rocked the charts.  Are you driven? Impatient? High Stress? Yes, yes, yes. Do you get things done?   Yes!   I wore my scarlet Type A like a badge of honor.

Writing speeches on  luncheon napkins minutes before I was to address the audience.  I never met a crisis I couldn't handle.  All that stress was 99.9% self inflicted.  There was no boss or  company requiring long hours or demanding performance, only me.  My best New Year's Resolution one year was a new mantra - "My resolution this year is to not take on any more projects".  I used that line well into December.

My family tried interventions.  My father-in-law gently broached the subject, "Sometimes, you only need what makes you happy." and my own dad saying "You don't have to be a millionaire to live like a millionaire."  Both are true.  It's not a sellout to  s l o w   d o w n.  But why does it feel like a "sell out"?

Lately, I have been practicing Bikrim Yoga.  Twenty-six poses at 104 degrees while focusing on little more than your breath.  Meditation has always been a challenge for my racing mind.  Now, I have the time to  s l o w  down and only push myself to meditate, stretch and breath for 90 minutes.  How things have changed in this encore phase of life.  And how liberating, fuck Type A!

A change of clothes

It only took about a week for me to begin post retirement nesting and tackle cleaning my closet - a chore I never had time for before.  I started by clearing out the many colored shirts embroidered with my (former) business logo, no need to ever wear those again.  Then continued to ditch anything resembling work clothes or business attire.  When the purging was finished, I packed away two full boxes of  logo shirts and t-shirts from company picnics and corporate runs.  And I was more than happy to donate all my black slacks, sensible skirts and business suits to someone- anyone.

A friend of ours was telling the story about his son who will be starting his first year at the Citadel.  Cadets are issued eight uniforms and they are told what to wear when and given painstakingly detailed instructions on how to wear them.  After their initial eye-opening visit to the strict South Carolina military academy,  he asked his son what he thought.  "Awesome!" was his reply.  He is proud to wear the uniform from the service cap to the shined black shoes.

Strict uniform codes remove the stress of "what to wear" and like the military I am true believer that it makes a difference in people management.   This had been drilled into me during 12 years of Catholic school.  Uniformity creates a memorable first impression and breaks down barriers.   I amassed thirty years worth of logo polo shirts from my former professional life.  But, with the team spirit of the business gone, the embroidered logos were just a bitter sweet reminder of what used to be.

For John and I our uniforms are changing.  Evidenced by the extra space on the shelves and racks of our closet.   Then I noticed my email junk mail changing from Ann Taylor to Athletica.  Today, I live in yoga pants, sandals and the occasional casual dress.  John opts for the Tommy Bahama shirt and khaki shorts.  In addition to needing the space, I have no desire to ever put on a pair of Banana Republic black pants, a button down shirt and pumps to walk out the door again.

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date."

Last week I came to a brilliant post-retirement breakthrough, "I'm not late anymore" I told John.  He quickly retorted, "That's because you have no place to go".   That's kind of sad, but the freeing feeling and lack of anxiety is exhilarating.  Like a deep yoga breath, followed by as many more as you want to inhale. 

The last time I experienced the calmness of unstructured time was after our youngest son, Jack was born in Tallahassee.  I was a "stay at home" mom.  It didn't last long, and as soon as our family moved back to Miami I went into full speed ahead "working mom" mode.  I recall one hectic afternoon when Jack was about 5 years old and he asked me from his carseat in the back of my minivan, "Mom, what does it mean when you are late all the time?".  Almost twenty years later, I vividly remember how I advised him,  "Then, you get the reputation for always being late and nobody can rely on you".   Jack's innocent response made me swallow hard, "So, how does that feel?".  

My entire life I have always been late, or at least as far back as high school tardy slips can document.  Overextended, over scheduled, over committed trying to do it all and dropping balls left and right.  After it all came to a stop, it took me a month to realize that I hadn't missed one appointment or been late to anything.  I have decided that "having no place to go" is one of the best things about retirement.  

Encore 2.0 "I don't think I can survive this"

I wrestle awake, open my eyes and focus slowly, I begin to see my husband at the edge of our bed.  I shake my head out of a fog, I see him sitting on MY chair at the foot of our bed, looking into my eyes, staring.  "What are you doing?" I ask, half awake.  "Nothing" he sheepishly replies, with an english muffin in his hand.

This is the first official day of my husband's retirement.  For almost 30 years he has rose from bed and been out of the house no later than 8am.   Every day he leaves the house and I have it to my own until he returns after 6pm.   But this morning he is having breakfast at my feet, like a sad anxious puppy dog.

How we ended up retiring at the same time, seems a twist of fate.  But the timing was out of my control.  I was supposed to sell the family business, but it dragged on for over a year.  So here we are, both retired, looking at each other from the foot of the bed.

When I left the house that day, I talked to my sister.  "I told her the "english muffin story", and said something like  "don't think I can survive this".  I think she laughed.   When I came home that afternoon at 4pm, my normal routine of Ellen Degenress and dinner preparations was interrupted.  I walked into our bedroom and my husband was laying in our bed - in his underwear, popping Rasinets in his mouth.

I cooked dinner, walked the dog and drank my share of wine.  Happy first day of retirement.  I don't think I can survive this.

The Definition of “Self Control” by Kelley Rice Schild

“M  -r -s.     S   - c  -  h -  i  - l -  d” ...he draws each syllable out, like only someone from Tallahassee, Florida can manage.  The instant I hear the preface I know what is coming next,  “perhaps you don’t remember our   p - r-  e  -v-  i - o - u-  s   conversation…” .  It is at that precise moment that I resist the uncontrollable urge to slam my I-phone into the nearest wall and smash it into million pieces.  If I had succumbed to that urge, I calculate that I would be on phone #6.  Instead, when he continues in his sickening sweet, consending tone with “I would be h -a -p -p- y  to go over it all again…” , I take a deep yoga breath.  I repeat to myself “DO NOT use the f-word”.

In my head I scream  “You fucking mother fucker!  Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!  Go fuck yourself you fucking asshole!”  And then I congratualate myself on my amazing self control.  Click.

Is Happiness Overrated?

My sister recently gave me a newspaper clipping entitled, “Happiness may be overrated”.   The article shares the bad news that a happy childhood “may hamper your career prospects”.  One study found that happy American college freshmen "earned on average, less than those who felt slightly less merry when young”.  So, does this translate into a “dumb, fat and happy” attitude?  I think that the middle aged surfer who promises “It’s all good” may be too content. The truth is that dissatisfaction, or discontentment with an aspect of your life, can ironically lead to happiness.


An easy example is dissatisfaction with our physical appearance.  Being sick and tired of not fitting into your jeans, may provide the motivation to cut the carbs and increase the miles.   After a few successful weeks, you are bound to be happy with the results.  And, most likely, happier overall.  A “climate of dissatisfaction” is how Walt Disney described what sparked his ambition to build Walt Disney Land in Anaheim, California in 1953.


While sitting on a bench watching his daughters play at a local carnival, Walt decided he wanted to create a magical place for children and their parents.  He said “I want to have a place that's as clean as anything could ever be, and all the people in it are first-class citizens, and treated like guests.”.  There are plenty of examples of people finding happiness after finally deciding they have had enough and decide to take a risk or make a change.  The college freshman study concluded that people who “are rarely dissatisfied with their jobs, feel less pressure to get more education or change careers".


Being satisfied is not the same as being happy and it may take a little “un-happiness” to find lasting happiness.  Need a little happiness boost?  Take a quick trip to the "Happiest Place on Earth” and remember Walt’s path to happiness.

The Happiness Zone

I asked my husband if he has any activities where he just “zones out” and he quickly listed his top three.  (The first you will have to guess.)  Number two and three were golf and fishing.  Happy people frequently zone out.  Experts identify this “state of intense absorption” as a key to happiness.  When you’re oblivious to everything else and absorbed in the task at hand.   It reminds me of hearing my mom’s voice calling my name at dusk when I was a kid building forts in the neighborhood.  Where did the time go?

A quiz on “How do you seek happiness?” asks this question: “Regardless of what I am doing, time passes very quickly”.   Most days, time passes quickly.  In fact, there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.  I think my busy days make me a happier person.  Being engrossed in my latest project or pursuit ensures less time to worry or fret.  Current projects include renovating our closet/bathroom and a new business.

I zone out when I'm running.  Sometimes I am so lost in the run that I fly right past my street.  That is when you know you are in the zone, when you lose awareness of time, aren’t thinking of yourself and block out extraneous thoughts.  Other signs are;  having intermediate goals, being active  (vs passive) and a feeling of effortlessness.   Sitting on the couch channel surfing doesn’t cut it, being in the zone requires some challenge, like John hitting endless wedges close to the pin. 

I think the key to the zone-happiness relationship is not thinking too much.  And not thinking about yourself at all.  Your mind is focused on what you are doing, your only awareness of yourself is in relation to the activity itself.   No encroaching thoughts about what she said to whom, or what he meant by that.

One step to happiness is engage in activities that cause you to zone out and lose yourself.

Reading the obits

I have a morbid habit of reading the obituaries almost every day. I think I learned it from my grandmother.  Everyday while I read through the condensed lives of locals, I think the same thing “Your entire life is condensed into 5 column inches”.  How scary to have everything from birth to death and everything in between, here.

“A look back at your life,”, instructs you to write your own eulogy, a recommended exercise in the Harvard Study on Happiness  www.health.harvard.edu (Positive Psychology).  Then ask the question, “Are there gaps between the legacy you want to leave and ways you spend your time?”.  It is an excellent exercise to see in black and white where your priorities lay.  Insignificant things that seem to be so time consuming today, can seep into tomorrow, and before you know it life is passing you by while you worry about the small stuff.

Finding “A meaningful life” is one of three important tenants of happiness.  This is confirmed in recent scientific studies.   Scientists have found evidence that has confirmed what the ancient philosophers have known all along; lasting happiness requires a focus on others and the feeling that your life has purpose.    "Others" does not mean strangers, however there are many worthwhile causes.  A meaningful life can be accomplished by ensuring a positive future for your children, contributions to your community, kindness to friends who are in need.  Find meaning in your life, outside yourself, everyday.

Be selfless and feel you are part of a larger plan.  Nothing grandiose, just random acts of kindness, consistently and with a pure heart.  To remind myself, I even say “I am doing this with a pure heart”, it helps!  Resentment is the opposite of a meaningful life and has expected results, unhappiness.  Every moment you spend resenting people or circumstances, is a waste.  So do for others with pure intentions and no expectations.  

What do you want your legacy to be?  Write your obituary today, and live it everyday.  Live your life like today was your last.

Words of Wisdom

My dad asked me, "Got your three wishes?"  What would you wish for, if you only had three wishes?  Think hard, you only have one chance to answer - that's the rule.   I would sometimes say, "1. Win the lottery, 2. live forever 3. 1 million more wishes".  We played this game often, "Three Wishes".

The game assumes that there are things you can change that will make you happy.   Research on happiness and fulfillment of life find the happiest people express gratitude, have an appreciation for beauty and spend time doing things for others.

Ironically, happiness is only shared with those you love, and losing the one you love most, makes it all irrelevant.  But, our time on this earth is not within our control.  In the game of "Three Wishes" we can only wish for eternal life, an unrealistic request.

So, that night we played "Three Wishes" in the hospital, and my dad didn't let me think long enough to consider my answer.  He blurted out  "Make sure the first wish is for good health, cause after that, not too much matters."

Don't be a Grinch

Christmas is right around the corner.  Stores are already displaying Halloween decorations, before you know it we will be finishing off the pumpkin pie and then fa, la, la!  Holidays should be happy times.  Regretfully hectic, happy times such as Christmas can quickly melt down without proper planning.  Worse than that is when in true grinchy-style the season of joy becomes a chore you resent.

My daughter Allison sent me a link to a recent survey by psychologist and self-help author Robert Epstein who found that 25% of our happiness hinges on how we manage stress.  Most effective in a stressful situation is practicing prevention.  Planning is the stress management technique the study found worked best.  If we are prepared for potentially stressful events, we may actually find some enjoyment.

Christmas morning in our stateroom

This year, I vow to plan ahead and spend more time experiencing the reason for the season.  I have already started jotting down gift giving ideas and hope to finish my shopping before Thanksgiving.  A few years ago we planned a Christmas cruise and it was a wonderful gift for the whole family.   The holiday was more about spending time together than rushing around buying last minute gifts or juggling schedules.  This year I will decorate early and savor the month of December baking a few batches of my favorite cookies, celebrating birthdays (John's and mine) and enjoying the visits form my college-age daughters.


As the Grinch discovered Christmas came without ribbons! It came without tags!  It came without packages, boxes or bags! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.  Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

Nothing to do with Happiness

My aunt, Lil (center) & clean-shaven uncle, Terry

I visited my favorite aunt and uncle a few years ago when I was homeschooling my son, Jack.  We flew to Tucson, and they quickly shared that they turned their talents to the Praise Band at their church.  I remember my aunt and uncle during their "Rock Band" era in the 70's.  They were the "Dearly Beloved", a name that brought new meaning for their gospel rock reincarnation.   When we visited,  the recent news was that  they recruited their old member "Mike" to play on Sundays.  Dearly Beloved was back together, playing for a greater cause. 

Me & our American Bull Dog, Niki

The part that has nothing to do with happiness, is that Mike died from injuries from his own dog.  Last week, after three weeks, he succumbed to the injuries.  His pet, Butch (a Pit Bull), was recovering from surgery and in pain and lashed out at his owner.  How devastating to family, friends, me.  

Thank the Lord that Mike was reunited to Dearly Beloved for the past few years.  For those Sundays, those souls, everyone.  There really seems to be no explanation.

Not so happy kel

It is hard to blog about “How to be happy”, when you haven’t been feeling particularly happy yourself.   Everyone goes through periods of gloominess.  You cant’ be happy all the time, and if someone acts gleeful 24/7 something must be wrong.  Remember, you can’t enjoy the happy times unless you have low periods in comparison.   According to the sacred texts of Hinduism, “We know the value of standing in the shade only after we have roamed in the hot day sun”.

Periods of unhappiness are normal and you can frequently recognize the reason why you are down in the dumps.  I am suffering from post-vacation let down, something my mom called “too much birthday”.  The last four weeks have been remarkable, with a girls trip to Europe, followed by multiple celebrations, a corporate retreat at Disney, productive meetings and very little down time.

How do you find a happy place when you are feeling blue?  According to the Harvard study on positive psychology, “There is also intriguing preliminary evidence that positive psychology techniques, in addition to preparing you for the ups and downs of life, can be valuable in times of stress, grief, or other difficulties.”

http://www.health.harvard.edu/special_health_reports/positive-psychology-harnessing-the-power-of-happiness-personal-strength-and-mindfulness  

The effective positive psychology techniques include expressing gratitude for the lessons learned or opportunities presented when dealing with negative events.  Participants are instructed to write about the positive consequences of their hardship for which they could be grateful.  Focusing on finding the silver lining of your black cloud, helps with closure and intrusive negative thoughts about your despair.   My fatigue has forced me to relax, re-energize and focus on things that need to be done around the house.  Another assignment is to savor the pleasure and think about the good things in your life.  When you accentuate the positive you develop a more optimistic outlook.   Instead of lamenting my exhaustion after a month of going non-stop, I have been enjoying the shared pictures of our trip and discussing the lessons learned at our Disney Corporate Retreat with co-workers.  Keeping busy or getting into “The Flow” with outside interests helps keep negative thoughts at bay.   When you’re fully engaged in activities, you are less preoccupied by mundane thoughts.  Nothing clears my head of dreary thoughts quicker than a long run with my I-Pod just thinking about the music and my feet hitting the pavement.

Unhappy times are really a chance to appreciate that when one door closes another one opens.