F**k "Type A"

I took the tests in Cosmo and Working Woman - "16 Signs You Might Be Type A".  My score always rocked the charts.  Are you driven? Impatient? High Stress? Yes, yes, yes. Do you get things done?   Yes!   I wore my scarlet Type A like a badge of honor.

Writing speeches on  luncheon napkins minutes before I was to address the audience.  I never met a crisis I couldn't handle.  All that stress was 99.9% self inflicted.  There was no boss or  company requiring long hours or demanding performance, only me.  My best New Year's Resolution one year was a new mantra - "My resolution this year is to not take on any more projects".  I used that line well into December.

My family tried interventions.  My father-in-law gently broached the subject, "Sometimes, you only need what makes you happy." and my own dad saying "You don't have to be a millionaire to live like a millionaire."  Both are true.  It's not a sellout to  s l o w   d o w n.  But why does it feel like a "sell out"?

Lately, I have been practicing Bikrim Yoga.  Twenty-six poses at 104 degrees while focusing on little more than your breath.  Meditation has always been a challenge for my racing mind.  Now, I have the time to  s l o w  down and only push myself to meditate, stretch and breath for 90 minutes.  How things have changed in this encore phase of life.  And how liberating, fuck Type A!

Regrets, I've had a few

During an outing to Costco with my great aunt, I thought about my weekly happiness challenge:  “Say no to too many choices”.   I needed dishwasher detergent and had many options ; liquid, powder, crystal, action pac, green, bio-degradable  – choices, choices, choices.  In the 4G, HD, digital world we have more choices than we could have ever imagined.  How did I choose the dishwasher detergent?  I found the cheapest powder per ounce, put it in the cart and moved on.  The theory is that happiness is thwarted because the more choices you have, the greater opportunity to regret those choices.    

 

This was not much of a challenge for me since I rarely spend time deliberating over my choices.  According to the Harvard Study, those who analyze all the pros and cons to painstakingly make sure they make the perfect selection, regret their hard-thought decisions more - shouda, coulda, woulda.  But there are  everyday choices (like dishwasher detergent) and life's choices (the spouse you choose).   This challenge was for choices we are faced with on a daily basis.  In a misguided attempt to make children happy many of today's parents tend to cater to and give multiple options for everyday decisions, such as "what's for breakfats?".  On finding happiness, we are doing these kids a huge disservice in the long run.  For me, there are usually two choices – take it or leave it.  

Jesus Camp



Sabbaticals eliminate choices.  No televisions, no phones or computers, camp-style meals taken at prescribed times, early prayers, evening meditations.  Few conversations and fewer choices allow your mind to stay focused.   This monastic type of lifestyle reminds you to appreciate what you have, especially the goodness and glory of God.  While we all can’t have the lifestyle of living in a convent, I decided that I would limit daily choices for the week – I took the same running route with the same playlist, breakfast was coffee and yogurt,  lunch would be tuna fish on pita bread.  Was I happier?  I realized this was not much of a change from my daily routine.  

We all make good choices and bad choices.  Hopefully we learn from the bad ones and don’t repeat our mistakes.  Although I tend to forget the bad ones after my second glass of wine.  Seriously, there is nothing more damaging to happiness than regret.  Regret is just insight that comes a day too late, and not worthy of any more emotional energy than learning from your experience.