I'm Bossy

 Gina & I  at Corporate Run

"You have to tell the story about you bossing John around at the Corporate Run," my sister said as her suggestion for my next blog.   She continued, "how you told him what to do, and he totally ignored you."  I remembered the Ft. Lauderdale Corporate Run, and how John didn't listen to me when I told him the exact route and specific parking lot location.   And how he regretted not bringing the specified roller-cooler .  But I didn't see it as "bossing him around",  I was just doing my job and being the boss.

I guess the frustrated boss in me forgot John was my husband, not my employee.   Now, I am no longer the boss of anyone, except myself.  Changing roles in life is rough on egos and relationships.  Especially when you have to take a step back (and down).

I imagine it is similar to the way the President of the United States must feel when he leaves office.  Leader of the free world one day, working on your museum the next.   I heard General Colin Powell describe how he felt the morning after he stepped down as Secretary of State.  He said that he stood in his kitchen with a cup of coffee as the Secret Service came and ripped out all the phone and cable lines and then speed off in the black, bulletproof SUV never to return again.  His wife quipped, "What do we do now?".

I hate that uneasy feeling when you realize you are dispensable, but you can't take it personally.  "Nobody is indispensable" my dad advised, "and that includes you."  People who hang on too long, need to accept when it is time to move to the next phase.

For John and I it seems we have lost many of our roles.  As almost empty nesters, we have (almost) let go of our "parent roles".   Since John and I both quit our jobs we also (simultaneously) lost our "career roles".   In this encore period of our lives I am still trying to figure out "What we do now".